


Discount

by typingnoises



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, But its tasteful, Claiming, Coming Out, Eventual Smut, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Requited Love, Requited Unrequited Love, jealousboyhalo, literally the chapters just get longer and longer, sadboyskeppy, so now im writing this, the austin show hurt me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29103453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typingnoises/pseuds/typingnoises
Summary: Skeppy struggles to accept his feelings for his best friend, so in a desperate attempt to grapple with the ache in his heart he signs up to join Love or Host. Unbeknownst to him, Bad is struggling with the same issues. It's up to him to claim what's his before its too late.
Relationships: Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch
Comments: 21
Kudos: 280





	1. Donations from hell

**Author's Note:**

> I needed to cope with the existence of love or host and how it always reminds me that most mcyts are so painfully straight. i'm going to turn love or host into something great in this fic I promise. Please know I genuinely think they are just friends, I’m just another fan obsessed with their dynamic and that none of this is what i think is actually happening with the irl people. I’m writing their branded personas, not them. I hope you enjoy reading.

Donation after donation Skeppy felt his heart sink a little lower every time. He was going back after a stream to review his donos. To say he did this regularly would be a lie, but who was he kidding, he was just distracting himself miserably from the ache in his chest. Just one message, he thinks, just one message can flip this person’s whole life around, maybe make them smile for the first time in weeks.

Smiling, Skeppy hadn’t done that in a while. Genuinely, just smile when he’s not there. 

It was terrifying when Skeppy noticed how down he felt without his voice in his ear. It was like a drug, you’d feel so impossibly elated and happy, but when you crash, you crash hard. The higher the ups, the lower the downs. Badboyhalo did that to him.

He needed to scroll down something, just to try to suppress this ache in his chest. But none of it worked. He just wanted to pretend, just in this moment, that they were only friends, and will be nothing more because it was easier then. Back when he could just hop on teamspeak and have hour long conversations about weird habits or awkward conversations with strangers at the grocery store. It was easy before Skeppy realized how hopelessly in love he was with Bad. 

“Go get em’ Skeppy! HE’S YOURS” 

And as stupid as it sounds Vurbina234 had a point, he’s always going to his. Bad is so incredibly loyal. He’s the kind of one in a million person who will always have your back and give you support when you need it. You can vibe with him, chill with him, trust him with your insecurities, and praise him when he doesn’t feel “100%”. 

Oh that fucking phrase can go to hell. 

“Skeppy, I’m not feeling 100%. I want it so that when we meet we both feel great, I want it to be special, Skeppy. And I’m not letting a stupid virus stop us from having the best meetup ever.”

Fucking 100%. Bad was never going to be 100%. The fucking vision of their meetup in his head is too fucking scary for him to go through with it. Why can’t he get it in his head that literally nothing Bad can do can ever tarnish their relationship. Sometimes Skeppy thinks he’s the only one who can fuck it up entirely. 

He shuts off his computer, finally realizing he’s not getting any solace from his messages and walks over to the kitchen for a glass of water. 

He needs to see him in person, his chest aches for him here. Something tells him that having him right before his eyes might change his feelings, that he wasn’t gay for his best friend. 

Then maybe he could go back to before. BBH the internet friend is pure, cute, supportive, funny, and literally the only person who he has had a long close relationship with. Zelk, Finn, Spifey, or anyone for that matter just never met him at the same wavelength.

Therefore the only logical reason he could conclude was that he loves him because Bad is an internet friend. Bad was his childhood hero, a Youtuber he glorified as a kid. Maybe his brain made him up, chose him, a genuinely nice person as a rock to latch onto. A thing that made him less lonely, but never could realistically be tangible. Having him here may change his feelings and make Bad less perfect. 

Knock some sense into him. Yeah, that's what he needs.

He brings the cup of water to his mouth, the cool liquid moistening his top lip. 

He doesn’t have it in him to come out. He can’t ruin his relationship with his family, he just can’t risk it. They got him to where he is today. Hell his dad paid for his first server. He owes them so much, and he can’t help but feel like he’s ruining their investment. He’s their successful son, his Mom always said. Did you know your little cousin Danny found your videos last week? Auntie Beck is very proud of you, we all are. They love him, why would he ever do something that would betray them. 

He’s not gay, and he’s not bi. His heart just flutters when Badboyhalo does this little grumble when he’s annoyed. Like a little mean race car revving his engines because he thinks he’s so scary. 

Skeppy feels exhausted from thinking. He needs relief, and he needs it soon. Hopefully before he loses his mind over some guy he met over the internet. Skeppy sure as hell knows it’s so much more complicated than that. He’ll convince him tomorrow.

Bad woke up the next morning to 147 telegrams from Skeppy the same message: HEY BAD LET'S MEET UP.


	2. Hitting a Rough Patch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really dialogue heavy compared to the last chapter. Hopefully it's not too long.

Groaning from the hazy feeling in his muscles, Bad’s body hesitantly stirred to check his phone. Oh Skeppy, not again.

“HEY BAD LET’S MEET UP”

Classic Skeppy, spamming him at ten am, knowing well that Bad is sleeping until two. He enters his passcode with tired, sleepy hands and replies back.

“ts in thirty?” 

Bad set his phone down onto the bed before it vibrated to life. His heart did a little flutter when he noticed Skeppy’s calling.

“Hey Bad”

His greetings normally bring a warm smile to his cheeks but he sounded different today, maybe he went out last night.

“Hello Skeppy”

“You sound tired”

“It’s two in the afternoon”

“Oh right...” 

He should have known. His sleep schedule may fluctuate but Skeppy knew what time he went to bed the night before. And by now Skeppy would know that he relies upon exactly nine and a half hours of sleep to function. Yet he continues to spam him in the early hours of the day. 

“Skeppy I woke up like thirty seconds ago,” Bad slurred as he rubbed his eyes. 

Skeppy falls silent.

“So uhm...what do you need? I sent you the thumbnail I made right?”

“Oh yeah it looks great”

“Wait what video was that for?” 

When Bad walked into the bathroom the cold tile beneath his feet woke him up just enough to remember there wasn’t a thumbnail. That was done two days ago. 

“So Bad? I was just thinking about you and I wanted to come back and ask you when you’re available?” 

He turns around to go sit in his gaming chair. The familiar imprint of his body welcoming him back to work. 

“One sec. I’m checking my calendar.” 

It was January. No family oriented holidays, no large SMP events scheduled, and somehow no minecraft tournaments. January and February was their chance and Bad’s head swirled trying to figure out an excuse out of this one. 

Lucy has a bad paw? No, his roommate could take care of that. His nephew’s birthday? Nope he’s all the way in Florida, exactly where Skeppy was at the moment. Maybe...his aunt got covid so he’s going to help his uncle with chores? Ugh how was he going to make that believable. He has so many projects planned for the SMP and YouTube, how was he going to sit at home knowing he was sucking time away just to cover up his lies? He’ll perhaps watch that new netflix anime or something. 

Yeah, that sounds like a plan. 

“Hey Bad? Are you there?”, he sounded small, like something bad had happened to him. 

“Yeah, uhm...oh! Skeppy I just remembered my aunt just got sick so i have to help my uncle do errands”

Skeppy saw right through it, “Bad? Did you just...you know what, whatever”.

“Skeppyㅡ”

“Bad if you don’t want to meet up just tell me. I’m sick of you doing this, just dangling this in front of me saying I'm going to see you, but never go through with it.”

Bad’s heart clenches. Every word a blow to his chest. 

“I want to see you, and I’m finding it very hard to believe that you want me there too. It has been a year Bad, a fucking year of me asking”. 

Bad stammers and struggles to find the words to properly reply. What had he done. Stupid, he calls himself, utterly idiotic to even fathom Skeppy wouldn’t see through his lies.He can sense it when he’s beating around the bush or avoiding a topic but does he tell Skeppy he’s not ready to meet up? Would that hurt him more? Bad’s eyes moisten at the thought, of course it would.

He knows how much Skeppy has been looking forward to this, how Bad could tell him he wasn’t ready. That he’d rather succumb to his own insecurities and emotions tha face them for Skeppy. Bad is selfish, deceitful, and cowardly, and he knows he can’t get past it, not even for Skeppy. His entire body aches in longingㅡ he wants him here he really doesㅡ but he also knows that if Skeppy were to arrive he’d be disappointed by who he is in real life. That he really is not as interesting, fun, cool, or maybe even attractive as he leads himself on to be over voice chat. He just wants to hide behind a screenㅡ what was wrong with that? 

Selfish, stupid, scared. BadBoyHalo is about to lose someone he loves and all he can do is hate himself because a part of him is ok with it. Something tells him that if he never met Skeppy he would never have this unbearable ache screaming for him to hold him close and smell him, touch his hands, and squeeze him tight and never let go. While it may be what Bad truly desires, he highly doubts Skeppy will feel the same way when he sees him in the flesh. He tells himself he’s a prime example of why there have never been two pretty best friends. One of them has to be ugly, and that's him. Why else does he use that facecam filter. 

“But Skeppy, Iㅡ I do wanna see you”

His best friend scoffs. This isn’t Skeppy, he thinks, the Skeppy he knows would just show up on his doorstep because of how insufferably impulsive he is. So why hasn’t he already? Then it hits him like a brick to the head: it’s because Skeppy doesn’t think he loves him as much as he does. 

“Then why don’t you buy a bus ticket right now!” he says anger flaring in his voice”. 

Bad stammers again.

“You think you can fucking play me like this Bad? I let you lie to me this whole time because I knew you wanted to see me too. And I don’t think you’re even sure about it now! You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, and you justㅡ fuck.”

Skeppy’s voice cracked and he groaned in exhaustion. 

“Bye Bad.”

And he hung up. Skeppy wanted to punch a wall or hurl something off his balcony and into fucking China. His face was red hot and raw from emotion. All alone in his apartment he settled for a couch pillow and dove head first into the cold cushion. Moaning in agony, Skeppy cries. His phone wails from its spot on the coffee table, Bad’s ringtone emanating from the speakers. He mustered up the strength to lift his phone up and turn off bad’s alerts. 

His gaze drifted to the bottle of orange vodka on the kitchen counter mulling over the idea of taking a glass to settle down a bit. But then he remembered how temporary its solace would be. He’s not doing that. Instead he checked his recent calls for someone to help him settle down. Hell knows what he’ll do if left alone. Ignoring bad’s name, he sees a call he sent for Finn yesterday. Yeah, he’s cool.

“Hey Skeppy what’s up?” he says with a bright tone. 

Skeppy cringes at it, how could anyone be happy right now when his world is falling apart. 

“What are you doing?” his voice is raw with overflowed emotion.

Finn is surprised by the noises Skeppy was making,“Fuck happened to you man?”

“I got in a fight with Bad.”

There was an audible ‘oh...’ from Finn and he responded with concern, “do you want to talk about it?”. He almost didn’t believe his ears, Bad and Skeppy don’t fallout. It's literally impossible. Whatever cracked the armor around their bond is a terror beyond comprehension. 

“Yeah I do”. 

What was he going to say? He loves bad so much he never wants to see him again? That he broke off their meet-up because he didn’t want to be patient with him anymore? That he can’t go on much longer hearing his voice without his throat catching from endearment or front he sheer pressure of butterflies in his chest. He was afraid to tell Finn anything because he didn’t want to face the fact he felt...specific things about his best friend.

“I think Iㅡ uhmㅡ love him too much?” and he fucked it up already. 

“No surprise there Skeppy,” the little laugh brings a kind of comfort to him. 

“I’m sorry it’s just, he’s been avoiding meeting up and I feel like it’s not fair that he’s sayingㅡ”

“He will when he isn’t?”

“Yeah”

“Bad’s scared of seeing you, Skeppy. It’s not hard to tell”. 

Skeppy rolls his eyes sarcastically.

“Wow Finn, thanks for making me feel better. I think I'll go call him back now!”

The british guy sighs exasperatedly. 

“If you haven’t noticed, Bad isn't the most confident man in the world” 

He scoffs, “What does that have to do with this?”

Bad’s always been insecure, but Skeppy felt like they were past that. There’s no reason for Bad to feel insecure around him. 

“There’s nothing Bad can do that would change the way I see him. Obviously he would know that.”

“I don’t think it’s safe to assume that. You guys never talk through things. That’s why you guys have issues sometimes you always assume.”

Skeppy groans as he wipes the crusty tears on his lashes. “Shit I’ve fucked up this time. I really have.”

“Finn there no way in hell Bad and I are talking though this one”

“Not with that attitude!” Finn replied offended, “it really seems like you’re ready to jump ship skeppy, and just leave him stranded”.

Of course that’s not what he wants, but it’s the truth. He has two options: tell him then possibly lose him forever and never quail his need to be near him, or just go and never let him know why. 

“Finn I’m scared,” he admits in a bare whisper, “it’s like either way I lose, and it’s all my fucking fault”.

There's a pause from Finn, “what is it you aren’t telling me Skeppy?”

His mouth refuses to form any words. Anything he says can be used against him, and criminalize him in front of the few people in his life who matter. 

“Skeppy, whatever you are holding back isn’t going to hurt Bad”.

“How would you know Finn! You don’t talk to him as much as I do!”

“After how much I found out today, it doesn’t seem like you talk to Bad anymore than I do”.

The truth hurts, which is why people lie all the time. Maybe him and Bad are both lying to themselves and each other. Fuck no, he can’t be thinking like this, like his best friend would ever be secretly into guys. 

“I’m sorry Skeppy I didn’t meanㅡ “

“No you’re right,” he says, voice fragile and small, “thank you Finn”.

Then he hangs up. If he can’t even tell Finn about how he feels, how is he ever going to tell Bad? Nauseated by the knots in his stomach he tries to empty his head by scrolling through some business emails. Random companies from Hello Fresh to Raid Shadow Legends, companies were offering him sums of money to advertise their products on YouTube. An email stuck out to him, primarily because the subject line didn’t contain the words “WANNA HAVE A FREE SUBSCRIPTION TO THIS COMPANY” and rather looked like a human wanted to contact him. 

It was an offer from Austin to be on Love or Host. 

***

Bad sat there dumbstruck by Skeppy’s outburst. Panicked he tries calling him back. A five times on his cell, about seven times on telegram, and even twice on discord. Yes he was that desperate. He would’ve continued before he heard the ping discord, the sound still unfamiliar to him, a loyal user of teamspeak. 

It was Puffy, “hey bad can i help you build that set for the next tales from the smp?”

He could see by her profile that she was already on, but not streaming. Maybe she can give him some advice. 

“Hey Puffy!”

“Hi Bad! How are you?”

Obviously she was expecting something more light hearted, “not that great”.

She suddenly perks up with a sensitive tone in her voice, “let’s move this to a private vc sound good?”

He hums affirmatively. Puffy disconnects from the server, probably to give him all of her attention which Bad finds very sweet. 

“So what’s up?” 

“Skeppy’s mad at me,” he said, the bitter words foreign in his mouth, “I lied to him and now he doesn’t want to meet up anymore”.

Puffy takes a second to formulate a response.

“Did you at least tell him the truth afterwards?” she asked. 

“No”. 

Puffy frowns scared for her friends, what could ever destroy a friendship as strong as theirs? 

“What was so important for you to not tell him Bad?”

It takes a moment for him to realize that Skeppy’s worth so much more than what Bad could give him, “he wanted to meet up and Iㅡ I turned him down”. 

She didn’t seem surprised, “surprise him and apologize, what’s so hard about going to see him.”

He growls, “you don’t get it Puffy, it’s just he’s him! He’s Skeppy. Aㅡ And I’m me! He’s never going to see me the same anymore!”. 

A wave of sympathy washed over Puffy, “Bad there’s nothing you can do that can ruin the way Skeppy sees you, have you heard his voice when you compliment his hair, the guy practically gets a heart attack from cuteness. You’re just going through a rough patch, you’ll be over it tomorrow”. 

He grows ever smaller, “that’s what everyone says, but it never changes. I’m nothing like him, he has no reason to keep me around!”

“You don’t have to be anything like him Bad!”

Of course he has to be, he thinks. Skeppy’s an adorable, confident, stylish, muffin who can do things without overthinking. Bad is the complete opposite of that. As much as he wants to see him, hug him, touch him, Skeppy would never look at him the same after seeing what he really looks like. 

“I can’t lose him Puffy,” Bad replies terrified, “it feels so good when we hang out. It’s like nothing ’i've ever felt with anyone else before ya know? He’s very funny and charming and he knows what to say to make my day. There’s no one else on this planet as considerate or sweet as him, even if he can be a little muffiny sometimes.”

“That's really sweet Bad,’ she says with a smile, “I’m happy you found each other”.

“There’s not that many people like that in the world,” he says, feeling a bit better, “does anyone make you feel that way Puffy?” 

“Yeah,” she says with a little laugh. She also had someone in her life who made her heart go in loops, “ if you don’t mind me asking do you...ever feel a tiny jump in your chest when he joins vc?”. 

The woman smiles at the memory of hearing Bad’s voice go up just the slightest bit when Skeppy arrives. Like the vibrations of his voice had the power to make his day infinitely better. 

“Uhm yeah, a bit,” he replies casually, how did she guess?

“Do your cheeks kinda get hotter when he laughs?”

“Yeah,” he replies smiling to himself remembering all the maid photos Skeppy had sent him before he revealed them on twitter. 

“Bad?”

“Hmm?”

“I think you have a crush on Skeppy”.

He falls silent. As much as he wanted to refute that statement, he couldn’t completely. If he and Skeppy never got married by the time they’re 40(which Bad highly doubts on Skeppy part) he wouldn’t mind living the rest of his life with him by his side. As if they didn’t already have plans for that. 

“No I don’t”. 

“Are you sure Bad?”

A beat passes, “yes?”

Puffy takes note he’s still unsure about his own feelings, “if you’re afraid of being gayㅡ”

“I’m not gㅡ Puffy!”

She normally would’ve laughed at his flustered words. 

“You don’t have to label yourself, just do you like Skeppy like you’re more than friends”.

“We are more than friends,” but even then he realized the term ‘best friend’ wasn’t adequate enough to explain their relationship. 

“Then go get him Bad,” she says, “go buy that bus ticket!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure if Puffy actually has a significant other, but I could’ve sworn she did mention something about moving places with someone on a stream once. Hopefully I stay near the 2000 word count per update for the next couple chapters. I already finished planning the ending, i'll see you guys later.


	3. Do you love him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad makes his way to Florida, and Finn calls.

He has always lived by routine. There’s a reason why Bad has never missed a Saturday stream in two years. He makes a plan and sticks to it, so if you asked him three years ago if he’d be canceling all of his week’s events to go surprise his best friend, he wouldn’t believe himself. 

It’s been three hours and the vibration from the wheels of the bus were driving his restless legs mad. No one knew where he was or where he was going, well except for Puffy. Bad checks his phone for the twelfth time within the hour. Callahan texted him. 

“Hey Bad where are you?”

Leave it to Bad to forget to tell his server manager he can’t go on call with him about taking down the hunger games lobby today. He thought he forgot something, well he had to forget something. He managed to buy a bus ticket and pack up his things just within seven hours. 

“I’m out of the house today, can we reschedule to tomorrow?” he replied, hesitant to reveal that he was going to be out for a week or two. 

“Yeah sure”

More lies. He keeps digging a grave deeper and deeper keeping this secret of his. Skeppy is worth it, he tells himself, no matter what he’s going to fix this. The joy Skeppy brought him was enough to make Bad jump out of an airplane if that’s what it took to continue falling asleep with his best friend on the phone. 

But that didn’t stop him from manically thinking of every catastrophic possibility that could result from this trip. His computerㅡ which he lined with lots of rolled T-shirts and socksㅡ could get tousled around and break from the bumps in the road, or the bus could leave him stranded in the middle of nowhere with all the other weird passengers sneezing and crying, or his airbnb could fall through and he’s have no place to stay. At that point he would have to see Skeppy a lot sooner than expected. 

By the time they reached their first rest stop he rushed into an off brand cracker barrel to find some sort of food to settle his rumbling stomach. Eyeing down the list Bad decides upon ordering some chicken tenders.

“What side would you like with that sir?” 

He takes a second to find the sides menu, which inconveniently was located on the back of the page. Mindlessly scanning the options his eyes fixed upon a specific listing: ‘cheesy fries’. 

If there’s a God, Bad swears he has it against him. Was this some sort of cruel trick by the universe to remind him just how much he messed up because this is a punishment much worse than tripping off a cliff and into a pile cacti. 

“Sir?”

“Uh yeahㅡ” he replies suddenly taken out of his stupeur, “i’ll have the french fries”. 

“Ok,” the cashier replies back patiently, “That’ll be $14.42”.

He pauses as he takes out his debit card. Now irritated he thinks, now there’s definitely someone plotting against me. 

Now back on the bus, he decides to edit an old video he had saved on his external harddrive just weeks before. So much has happened since that, Bad forgot what it was about. It was him and Skeppy reacting to their minecraft monday livestream just a year before. It was originally kinda awkward being a twenty something year old on a bus editing a minecraft video but the discomfort faded eventually.   
Bad envied his past self for being able to just sit down with his best friend and banter for hours on end. Those cherished moments seemed like an eternity ago. 

“Are watching minecraft?”

Bad heard the small voice to his left barely over the boisterous laughter in his earbuds. It was a kid just about thirteen years old.

“Uhm, yeah,” he replies, taking out an earbud, “do you play?”

The kid nods energetically.

“That's cool. I actually play a lot,” he explains to the kid.

“Do you speedrun?” he asks enamored by the moving images on Bad’s laptop. 

Bad laughs, it’s another Dream fan. He doesn’t really interact with the public so the chances of him running into a fan was always pretty low. It happens, but it doesn’t happen as much to him as it has ever has happened to Skeppy. 

“No, I do a lot of building though,” he says to the kid, now climbing into the empty seat beside him, “do you watch Dream?”

The kid nods really fast, “du du duh da” he sang to the tune of the Dream’s speedrun music. 

Bad laughs out loud at the sound. 

“What if I told you I’m BadBoyHalo?” he says to the kid pointing out his character in the video he was editing.

“...who?” the kid asks looking at the image. 

It takes a second for the kid to realize who he was in the presence of, “You’re the muffin man!”

The kid jumps off the seat and runs back to his parents.

“Hey mom! It’s the muffin man!” he yells, making Bad cringe from embarrassment. 

“Who?”

“Him!” he says pointing towards Bad’s chair. In the meantime he had slumped down behind a headrest to cover his reddening face, “he’s a muffinhead!”

Now more than ever did he want to shrivel up into nothing and disappear. He could see the mother stand up to go take a look at Bad, crap he was going to get yelled at wasn’t he. 

After an awkward and mortifying few minutes the mom eventually found out Bad was approached by the kid because he was watching minecraft and totally not lured in to be kidnapped off the bus.

“Now apologize,” she says, making it clear to everyone what was going on. 

“I’m sorry, “ he responds with his head down. 

Then his mom tugged on his wrist to go back to their part of the bus. 

“Wait Mom can I get a picture?”

She looks at her son with confusion.

Bad musters up the courage to speak, “I’m actually a Minecraft YouTuber”, he says just barely audible to the woman. 

“Are you that green guy?’

Bad chuckles, “no but I’m a really good friends ofㅡ “

“He’s Skeppy’s best friend,” the kid cheers. 

Bad sighs, but was he really anymore? Bad was never offended by the fact his brand was practically the same as Skeppy’s, with both of them featured on both of their merch. Their lives in the last two years have essentially melded into one another’s. There’s no way you could understand who Bad is without understanding who Skeppy was. They've grown together and they’ve come so far. Maybe what they have really is unbreakable. 

He sees the smile on the kid’s cheeks, it’s the first time he has witnessed the face of the joy his friendships have brought people in real life. He takes a picture with the kid and they go back to their seats. 

The rest of the ride went by rather fast from that point on. Lugging his overwhelming heavy suitcase to the Airbnb, Bad’s left arm increasingly regrets packing a monitor in addition to his computer tower. When he finally arrives the property owner shows him around the house before leaving him the key. As he unzipped his suitcase he reacquainted himself with the items he had haphazardly thrown together just a few hours before. Unsurprisingly he had forgotten his toothbrush and toothpaste and made a mental note to go out and pick up some sometime the following morning. 

Finding a good grip on the heavy glass box, Bad carefully placed his PC onto the desk in the living room. Piece by piece he got his travel sized mic stand and monitor set up and turned on. Before long he was as good as he would’ve been at home. Well except for the soundproofing foam he left behind which would’ve taken up too much space in his bag. As he opened up his obs to check for echo his discord booting window took over the screen. It automatically forced his eyes to stare into the DreamSMP server with a familiar profile pic staring back into him. 

Skeppy he thinks, his blood pulsing to his hands. It was an old picture from back when he grew out his hair. It looked so fluffy. 

Glancing over the rest of the VC Bad caught the names of Dream and Quackity. None of them were streaming. 

Deciding to avoid confronting Skeppy in front of his friends Bad turns around to gather some blankets and other fluffy fabrics he could scour about the room and walls or more audio absorption. 

Ding.

It was his phone. Creeping upon the device which he left face down, Bad slowly turns it over as if it’s a rock and a spider might just appear from under it and jump in his face. A sigh of relief exits his lungs. It’s just F1NN5TER. 

“Bad call me. NOW.”

He’s probably looking for Bad’s reaction to a new outfit on stream. He smiles to himself, finally something to laugh at today.

“Hey Finn you messaged?”

He asks with a lighter tone. 

“I think Skeppy’s going through something,” he says gravely, “and you need to do something Bad”.

For some stupid reason he decided to play dumb, “what do you mean?”. 

He mentally facepalms and Finn is having none of his bullshit. 

“There’s no way you aren’t aware of this Bad, he fucking told me you guys fought because you didn’t want to meet up”. 

If it had been any other moment Bad would’ve been appreciative of Finn’s care for Skeppy, but being on the other end of his blade was scary enough to subdue him into submission. 

He growls, “I don’t want to talk about it”.

“You fucking better. Skeppy cares about you a lot Bad, and you might’ve well just told him you don’t give a flying fuck,” he was seething and he deserved every harsh punch of his words, “he’s so desperate to see you. How do you think he feels knowing you don’t feel the same!”

Bad slumps against a wall and curls his knees into his chest. 

“I-I messed up Finn, and I promise I’ll make it up to him,” he says pleading to the man on the other end of the line. 

He hears a sigh from Finn cooling himself down, “can you promise me you’ll be completely honest, Bad,” he asks, his voice careful and calculated.

He gives an affirmative response. 

Finn continues, “I promise whatever you say back is safe with me ok?”

Bad hums in approval, awaiting some sort of terrifying question. 

“I care a lot for Skeppy, because he’s a really close friend. And I know you do too, but I was wondering if youㅡ well, love him more than I do”.

He sits in confusion, “what?’

Finn sighs, “Do you love him?”

“Of course I do,” he says simply, he always has. 

“No, I mean, like, ugh you’re such a dummy, Bad do you like Skeppy, like in a boyfriend way”. 

The words literally pained Finn just to force out. 

Bad sat there, critically thinking about why he really was in Florida. Yes, Skeppy makes his stomach twist in no way anyone else has, and yes his pictures make him feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside, but there was no way, ever Skeppy would ever feel that way about him. A couple more long beats pass, Finn is patient. 

“...yes”.

And Finn’s chest dropped, it was true then. Two of his closest friends wanted to get together and they had their panties so far up their asses to even say anything. Fuck they really were made for one another. 

“Shit!” Finn curses realizing what Skeppy had gotten himself into. 

“I’m sorry Finn, I didn’t mean itㅡ “ Bad said, terrified and sick to his stomach. Crud he really messed up. 

“No Bad it’s notㅡ no it’s not you it'sㅡ oh my god you’re fucked,” Finn panics audibly pacing around his room. 

“Finn what’s up?” 

“Skeppy likes you too, but he doesn’t know you like him. Oh my god this is horrible,” he expressed painfully, probably grasping at his hair stressed. 

Barely following, Bad asks again, “how is that concerning?”

There’s a pause.

“Skeppy signed up for love or host”. 

His heart stopped and the world halted its spinning. All that was left was him on the floor staring emptily into a wall. Was he really already too late? Skeppy gave up on him that fast. Or was he waiting for him a great deal longer than Bad could even comprehend? His skin went numb and the only noise that brought him back to reality was Finn’s voice against his ear. 

“Bad? Bad are you ok?”

“Yeah. Thank you Finn, “ and he hangs up. 

In a sudden wave of fear he rushes back to his desktop and signs in. He was still in the discord vc with Dream, Quackity, and now Eret. With little forethought he clicks in to join. 

Duh nuh. 

“Hello?” asked a deep voice. 

Bad was still on autopilot and monotonously replied, “Hi”. 

How could Skeppy not tell him he was joining Love or Host? How could he tell Finn before him, had he really messed them up this awfully to no longer be his right hand man? He wanted to grab Skeppy’s face and drill it into him that he had never meant to hurt him, and that he really did love him the same way. He should feel elated at the utter fact his emotions we reciprocated, but right when it was within grasp, Skeppy slipped through his fingers and it was all his fault for delaying it all. 

“Hey Skeppy, can you get on the invaded ts?” it wasn’t a question. 

There’s silence. Clearly everyone was dumbstruck that Skeppy didn’t jump to follow Bad out of the call.

“Uhm. I think I’m good Bad.” 

He could feel it, he was holding back. Bad sits there staring into the discord chat room, waiting for a green light to flash, preferably around Skeppy’s icon image. 

Skeppy doesn’t say anymore, and Bad understands their unspoken conversation. He should leave the call. And he did. It was no use having that conversation in front of his friends. Not only risking Skeppy’s secret, but also his.

Bad suddenly remembers an old memory, one he hasn’t thought of in many years. He remembers when he had his first internet crush, he hadn’t known at the time being gay was a controversial thing. He just was, well not quite gay but definitely into guys. His parents found out, it was the worst day of his life. They thought they had failed to raise him right, that they didn’t want him to live a hard life. They kicked him out, and it was the worst year ever. Don’t get him wrong, he was grateful for his parents. They let him take all his clothes and even his PC. Heck, his Dad gave him $600 a month for food and stuff. Slowly they let him back into their lives and now they’re closer than ever. But if he could go back, he wouldn’t let it happen so certainly he would never force Skeppy to do the same. That year hurt him so much he chose to never bring up the subject again now no one knows he likes guys. Not even Skeppy.


	4. the amazon guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quackity badgers Bad about Skeppy's current attitude and Skeppy loses his mind over his best friend.

“What the fuck happened with you and Skeppy?”

Bad cringes from the brash language and then grunts in frustration. Quackity had relentlessly called him on discord for the last twenty minutes to talk about Skeppy.

“We had an altercation,” he mumbled, clearly not wanting to let this conversation go very far. 

“I don’t give a shit for your fancy vocabulary right now,” he practically yelled into the phone mic, “I was on call with Skeppy for two hours and the man barely said anything. Since when was he able to shut up?!”

Bad winces at the reminder of the pain his best friend was experiencing right now. It’s like he could feel it too. He understood and cared enough about him to know the extent to which Skeppy can feel, which is unfortunately as bottomless as flipping space. 

“Oh and when you joined I was like: Oh thank god someone to give this guy some emotional aid, and he just fuckin’ clams up! Like how the hell did that happen?”

He willingly let silence build up between them, his shame was painful enough. 

“We had an argument ok?,” his voice is biting like he’s a rabid terrified dog, “and if you cared about us you’d stay out of it.”

Quackity is taken aback, Bad isn’t the type to be so biting, “if you’re not letting me help, then how are you ever getting better? Knowing you two, you’d rather wait for the other to take action because you’re too stupid to talk about it”. 

“Language!” he yells back, trying to switch the subject. 

“Bad tell me what’s happening. Whatever happens to you happens to all of us Bad, that’s the unfortunate reality we live in”. 

He rumbles, it was true to a certain extent. Quackity thrives off of their so-called ‘ship’ banter. Anyone who saw the guy’s youtube channel could see he gets spikes in views when it’s centered about him and Skeppy, or George and Dream. Their entire fanbases constantly craved more shipping content. It’s all part of the meme, Bad always tells himself, it’s just a meme. 

But memes are what run their careers. Phrases like ‘14’ or ‘Japanese Symbol for beginner’ increase their engagement numbers and memes like ‘Mobile Heal Pool’ or ‘Muffin Time’ make their merch more unique. Him and Skeppy have unintentionally created a brand together, and therefore their careers will always be considered one and the same. Twenty years from now, when Skeppy isn’t his friend anymore and YouTube is long behind them after their fallout, someone will recognize himㅡ like that kid on the busㅡ and ask what happened between them. Would he ever have the heart to admit it was his fault? 

Maybe he’d go back to college, finally finish his CompSci degree, and work for a software developing company the way his parents had always intended. Maybe Skeppy would go back to college too, but that idea sent a little twinge of despair to his heart. As much as Skeppy said he wanted to finish college, Bad knows he doesn’t have it in him. No major could encapsulate the unique ever changing interests Skeppy has; he’d be forced to study something he wasn’t built for. 

He doesn’t want that for his best friend. His chest aches again, Skeppy is a part of him, he can’t just leave that behind.

“Nothings happening Quackity,” he says, still daydreaming of that other nightmarish reality. 

Skeppy doesn't have to go to college involuntarily. Bad has it in his power to change the flow of time, change their fate, and the result of their current dispute. He was in Florida for Skeppy, so he might as well let him know that. 

Against his will he’s imagining the moment he shows up to his doorstep, palms sweaty as his finger reaches up to press the doorbell. He has a dilemma considering if he should ring or knock because Skeppy has a dog, or maybe the button doesn’t work. Or perhaps doing either was a bad idea. Then he considers the nerve wracking alternative, which would be calling him on the telegram to check his front door, and he shivers from the idea of it and decides on knocking. 

“Hey Bad, wake up,” Quackity says concerned by his silence. 

“Hmm?,” he says distracted, wanting to leave as soon as possible. Before he could stop himself his tongue slipped, “I’m in Florida, and I’m trying to surprise him, “ he admits.

“That doesn’t explain whyㅡ”

Frustrated Bad replies, “I messed up bad Quackity, and I’m here to try to make it up to him”. 

Quackity softens, it must wither be extremely stupid or insanely awful what happened to them if Bad wasn’t willing to share. 

“That's great! But whyㅡ” 

“ ㅡ but I’m worried he won’t want to see me anymore. Especially after heㅡ he signed up for Love or Host”. 

Quackity takes a beat from the news, and huffs, “oh my god” and Bad could almost hear a smile on his face. 

“Are you laughing?” Bad asks, offended that Quackity would find his anguish hilarious. 

He ignores Bad’s question.

“Hey, remember when I was on Love or Host?” he replies, his tone now confusingly bright. 

“...Yes” he replies, now unsure if Quackity was even sane anymore. 

“I went on because it was for some fun, you don’t sign up thinking you’re going to find the one,” he says obviously, rolling his eyes. 

“So you’re saying he’s going on because he’s not having fun anymore?” he said accusingly, fearing that Skeppy was looking for another best friend to hang out with. It was less betrayal and more so anger, if anyone takes Skeppy away from himㅡ. 

“No Bad, what I mean is that this is his way of saying he wants you to know you really matter to him...if that makes sense. Ok well now it’s kinda up to you to step up and show him back that you’re there for him.”

Now doubting himself he asks, “but he knows how much I care for him!”

“I’m pretty sure you know by now that you can’t assume all that,” he advises, seriously this time, “Bad this is important. You have to tell me what happened”. 

Quackity’s concern was sweet, but he was asking for something that was still as raw as knee scrape on a sidewalk. Something boils over inside him and he snaps, “Noㅡ I don’t, ugh I don’t owe you an explanation!”. 

“Bad you aren’t speaking in full sentences,” Quackity warns frustrated at his friend’s challenging tone. Bad clearly wasn’t functioning beyond this point; he’s too busy internalizing this whole entire issue. 

In times like these Bad would always turn to Skeppy to find some sort of solace from the stress he builds up in his head. But now he can’t even bring it to himself to text him. 

“I’m in Florida,” he blurts out. 

“How the hell is that important?” 

“I’m going to visit Skeppy,” his eyes shut tight, as if bracing for impact. 

That phrase that should’ve been filled with excitement and anticipation, but it sounded everything like a lament. 

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Judging by how he didn’t want to talk to me just now, it seems like he doesn’t want to anymore”. 

“You’re assuming again Bad, “ he warns, “stop that”. 

Bad pretends to ignore that suggestion, “my bus leaves in three days and i’m getting my 15 minute covid test tomorrow”. 

“Why sound so sad about it? This is great!” he says, unrealistically happy. This man could be a ten year old in a fireworks shop ready to set off some big explosions in his neighborhood. 

“He doesn’t know I’m coming Quackity,” he explains as if it made sense to him. 

“So?! You’re giving Skeppy what he wants! Don’t you want that?” the sound of celebration in his voice was ticking him off. 

“I don’t know Quackity! I don’t even know if I should even see him anymore”.

“OH DONT GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT” 

It’s so loud he has to lift the phone from his ear to help the pounding from the sound’s sudden onslaught. 

Quackity continues, “you’re literally like ten minutes away and you can’t even move your ass down a highway to see your best friend? He clearly needs you as much as you need him right now!”. 

He wanted to hide away in a corner and scream. Quackity’s shrill voice shot its way from his ears and straight into his soul.

“You have literally nothing to be afraid of, stop being a fucking whimp”.

Make it stop, please just make it stop, he chants. Then he takes initiative with what little strength he had left, and hung up. Quackity will never let him live this down. 

***

Skeppy has never wanted to hug and punch someone simultaneously before, yet here he was staring at the ceiling wondering why he doesn’t feel better. Skeppy thought that signing up for this dating show would get him to look forward to something for a change, but no! He still had that same insatiable tension in his arms that longed to wrap around something that no pillow could suffice for. The pillowcase felt more rough to his skin now and the sheets just made him grow restless. 

This was his chance to stare at pretty girls for five hours and banter with them, like he used to with Bad. Fuck that was his issue, he just wanted to replace him and fill that fucking hole in his heart. Some part of him was ok with that and the other was fucking furious he would even feel that way. The internal conflict burned his cheeks and tensed his fist. Was he allowed to punch something now?

Tossing and turning, his fingers make their way around his phone again, for the thousandth time that day. He falls into a robotic, emotionless bliss. He checks Twitter, and adds to his fanart appreciation account, his fans always made him feel better. Then he checked instagram where he posted a cute pic of Rocco lying on his side watching the sun set. Finally he tapped on YouTube. Now that was a mistake.

To this day, after like an eternity of being a creator, he has yet to understand the mystery that was the algorithm. Sometimes it's really funny, and other times it's just straight up bizarre. But this time, oh it was out to hunt his heart down and tear it up into tiny, shitty little pieces. His eyes locked into an old video of his: the one where Bad made him his own server. 

The blue colors of the thumbnail gave him a nostalgic feeling. This wasn’t even that long ago, he reminds himself, yet the space between Bad and him now made it feel like eons have passed. 

He sits there listening to his voice, sweet and bold. It was a voice that reminded him of his childhood. He just had that tone of understanding and intelligence that Skeppy found so hard to find. Watching his KitPVP videos helped his fall in love with the game and well led him to this very spot today. Their paths have crossed so many times before they even became friends. He remembers playing on McPvP way back when he was that annoying kid who’d spam him dms just to see his user featured on Bad’s stream. He smiles fondly at that memory. He had so many more, so many that Bad probably doesn’t even remember. He was that kid who’d target the famous person in the hunger games event just for the street cred. Back then Bad was just so out of his reach, like a celebrity who doesn’t have the time to interact with every single fan. 

There was that time where he got a message noticed by him and he landed in a skype call. It was their first time talking. He was fifteen, and definitely not allowed to talk to strangers online. Bad was twenty, yet it was never weird. He was so respectful and supportive and liked talking to his fans, like genuinely, and he always tried to make time for them. Skeppy admires that with the size of his fanbase today, he still tries, and his compassion for others is still just as strong as it was five years ago. 

On autopilot he gets up, opens his computer, and launches minecraft. He selects the world save in his singleplayer file titled: skeppy.com

When he spawns the big ip letters on the screen sends joy into his heart. Bad spent a year putting this whole server together for him. Literally the man knew him for a year and put in the time and effort to surprise him, even talk to him on ts for an hour to throw him off the scent. 

It was like Bad was his fan now, and that was so odd and adorable at the same time. They were equals, while Bad had always thought that, Skeppy never did. 

Hopping around the map he’s reminded of the wonderful day he stumbled upon it for the first time. This really was the best thing someone has ever given him. 

The hairs on his skin stands straight, and his heart beats faster again. Bad loves him, romantically or not he still cares for him. Sheer adoration started to pump through his veins, and subconsciously he imagines Bad there with him.

He’d sneak up behind him and wrap his arms around his shoulders from the back of his chair. Skeppy would turn around and nuzzle his cheek into that crook by his nose and his eyelid. Bad would get down on his knees and guide his hands from his keyboard to hold them dearly in his own. Trying to remember every splash of color in his eyes, Skeppy imagines his grip moving up, grazing his wrists, then his elbow and onto his upper arms. Relishing in his touch, something so new to him, he sighs as Bad wraps his soft hands around his biceps, squeezing gently. It was comforting. No terror, no insecurity, just him and Bad, a man he had always understood to be unjudging. With him he could feel like enough, not too skinny, not too annoying, just unadulteratedly himself. 

Rubbing him softly he’d move to press his lips against his. Again and again andㅡ fuck what kind of weird ass fantasy was this? 

It felt so good, but was his sanity worth fantasizing making out with his best friend? Was it worth risking thinking about more? His heart beats faster and suddenly he’s on autopilot again, unable to control his actions, or more realistically, unable to care anymore about restraint. It’s not like he’s ever talking to him again. 

He lies in bed, once again staring at the ceiling, coming down from his high. He floats down back to reality falling lower and lower, like a feather gliding down the grand fucking canyon. One second he thought Bad was in his bed, lips pressed desperately against his neck like it was the millionth time they’ve done it. The next he was alone, the weight of his thoughts turning his chest inside out. He couldn’t be friends with Bad anymore, not when he’s like this. 

Skeppy wipes his hands against the sheets trying to remove a filth that would never wash off.   
He imagines his voice, calling out to him, asking if he wants to hang out. Skeppy wants to say yes, follow him blindly like he always has. Yet how could he listen to the same voice that sent lightning strikes all around his body, shivers down his spine, and longing deep into his heart knowing he was never getting that from him. He hates lying, especially when it comes to Bad.

He remembers that he has trust issues, it’s the reason he has stopped griefing his server. 

His face flushed at the idea of it. He wants Bad in a way he could never have him, and it's not fair to just keep going on like this. Why would he force himself through endless pain. Oh what he would give to just let all this go. 

He wishes he never sent that staff email to Badㅡ No. No he can’t say that. Skeppy audibly grunts. He’s the best thing to have ever happened to you. He remembers what Bad had told him earlier, “You can’t just reverse what you want”. 

Why the hell was he so fucking wise. 

He stands up and stretches, the moist sweat still clinging to his back reminding him again of the embarrassing amount of need he has. Turning around, he sees a stain on the sheets. Fuck. 

The walk to the washer was laborious, and he shuffled his feet like there were shackles bound to each ankle. He stuffed the sheets in and turned to grab some detergent. His thumb strained to push down on the rubber stopper as he attempted to guess how much he needed for this load, eventually giving up and dumping in the whole cup. He just stood there for some unknown reason to watch the water spin round and round, washing away his mistake. The evidence may be gone, but the guilt lingers like a bad tan, it felt like it would take months to fade. 

He goes to the living room, now avoiding the confines of his bedroom, and chooses to sit on the carpeted floor. Skeppy lays on his side, scrunching up his knees into his chest. It’s comfortable to sit in a new place with a new perspective on the room. The world is on its side and all furniture, if it was there, seemed larger than life. It was nice to feel small for a while. 

Taking out his phone he continues scrolling through this feed. He had a good amount of time to watch some videos so he went on YouTube to comment on some fan animations, some he had failed to see since his birthday. A warm feeling in his chest formed when he could tell people put a lot of effort into making these songs and videos for himㅡ well, for him and Bad. Of course there was that painful squeeze his heart made whenever he stared at Bad’s art too much, but he chooses to ignore that. Exiting the app his thumb subconsciously drifts down to reddit. After a couple minutes of scrolling through various mindlessly funny subs like r/kidsarestupid or r/breadontrees he almost forgets the reason why his eyes were puffy, or where his bedsheets were. 

His eyes widened as they met the image of Bad. Believe it or not Skeppy has seen as much of his face as any other of his fans. Pictures of him are hard to come by and are sacred in a way because of that. Something about him just exuded ‘gamer boy’, not quite an ‘e-boy’ because he didn’t have to put in a lot of effort to look as good as he does. Skeppy imagines meeting him, he’d always planned on teaching Bad how to take good pictures of himself so he could feel proud of himself. An irritating memory reminds him of the time Skeppy fought with him over insecurities. 

He had told his friend that he shouldn’t have to envy how Skeppy displayed himself to the world. He tried to convince him it was more about how he was impulsive, and nothing to do with confidence. But Bad refused to acknowledge that stupidity was the reason why Skeppy was able to take so many good photos or look good on facecam. He had no sense of pride in himself, and that scared Skeppy, like...a lot. 

Admittedly it wasn’t a perfect photoㅡ it was taken on a bus so the angle was unusual and scuffed at best. But it was him, on a bus, with a grinning kid. He’s gotten to the point in his career to approach fans in the wild, especially for how little he even ventures into the public. Seeing how far he’d come brought a proud smile to his face. 

“Wait...he’s on a bus?” he suddenly realizes, face dropping.

“Where the hell is he going?” 

The chairs around had an early 2000s vibe to them. The grey rough material with the orange and yellow triangles reminded him of a couple middle school trips he took to the woods of Washington. It was a big greyhound bus, one meant for long distance interstate travels. Suddenly worried Skeppy takes to twitter to see if he mentioned anything about where he was going. But no, nothing. Not a vacation, not a routine family holiday, not anything. 

His heart beats fast in his chest. Bad isn’t the kind to just up and go travel somewhere. The man lives by routine, he hates change. He could go years just in his house, hell he’d stay in his house if it weren’t for his family inviting him to family gatherings every couple months.

Why the hell would he break this streak now? What changedㅡ oh. 

They’ve changed. For the last two years Skeppy and Bad have basically talked daily. It definitely qualified as a part of his daily routine. 

“Skeppy, you know you’re like the best part of my day sometimes.”

“Sometimes?!” he replies, fake offended. 

Fuck. The memory brought strikes of fear through his stomach. Was he just going to disappear? Move houses quietly so Skeppy wouldn’t have his address and just stop talking to people online? Would he delete twitter, discord, telegram, and ts off his computer? Could he leave behind his Youtube channel? The same one he had worked on since 2012? Did Skeppy really mean that much to him? 

Of fucking course he did, why the hell would they be in this situation if he didn’t. Skeppy checks some chat rooms he was included in with Bad. Munchy, DreamSMP, Invaded, nothing. No word from him since even last week. 

He messages Sapnap, perhaps knowing the guy for a couple years longer than himself could give him a hint on Bad’s whereabouts.

“Hey Sapnap, there's this pic of bad on a bus”

He then sends the screenshot separately. 

He replies, “cool! finally the guy goes outside”.

Skeppy groans, the situation seeming more and more urgent by the second. 

“I don’t know where he’s going” 

It takes a second for him to respond. 

“Has he not said anything?” 

Skeppy can feel his friend start to catch up. Clearly Sapnap understood Bad perhaps even better than he did. They both understood he doesn’t just up and leave his house one day without telling anyone. Honestly he dreads leaving his small town, so much so that he would’ve complained to someone. 

“No”

“Shit did something happen?”

“I was hoping you’d know”

Another pause. 

“I’ll tell you if I find anything. Don’t worry ok, theres no reason for him to do anything rash” 

But Bad wasn’t rash, he was perfectly logical, and perfectly logical people make decisions with precise awareness of the consequences. Which is why he was scared, there was a chance their fallout had the potential to hurt him that much. 

The whirr of the washing machine muffled by a couple walls reminds him of his friend. 

Bad, please don’t do anything stupid. 

He moves to the laundry room to move the sheets into the dryer. The damp cloth heavy and dense makes it harder to transfer it into the other appliance. An alert goes off on his phone: Love or Host in two days. 

His blood drains from his body and slumps down into his feet. Maybe it was his fault, it was too late to back out now, but maybe he could make it up to him during the show? Waitㅡ Bad promised to be on his show. He was going to show up, and he wasn’t going to leave him behind. Skeppy has a couple days to plan it, it very well could be the last time they speak. 

There’s an old amazon notif from an hour before saying his suit for Love or Host had arrived at his local distribution center. Almost by a fluke the doorbell rings. Amazon these days has freakishly fast shipping, and it was scary to think about sometimes. 

He rushes to his front door, forgetting to press the start button on the dryer. 

Looking to the ground for a yellow envelope Skeppy opens his front door. 

Converse, black converse that were attached to legs. Whoever this was was waiting expectantly for him to open the door. His eyes travel up the person’s jeans, blue and baggy, obviously mens. The hands he glances over were pale and thick with shitty nails, like they’ve been cut at awkward angles and then bitten off. The man stood at an uneasy hunch with a black hoodie that hung off his frame loosely. Bright green eyes looked nervously back at him from behind thin glasses. 

“Hey Skeppy,” he says, swallowing down anxiously.

The ache in his heart increased tenfold, the only sound he could hear was the blood rushing to his face. He was beautiful and Skeppy was close enough to see the stubble on his chin and even a few freckles just above where his neck met his jawline. Their eyes were at the same level but Skeppy could tell Bad was just a smidge taller if you didn’t count the poof of his own head. Fuck standing right under him did something to his throat that made it difficult even breathe, wait was he even breathing. 

His arms started shaking and suddenly his mind went blank, he’s here, he’s here and close enough to brush hands with. If he could just go on his toes a few inches he could brush his nose against his. Then the fear seeped into his skin and into his bones, fuck how the hell was he going to deal with this. He’s on his doorstep, his fucking doorstep. Was this even real?

His hands started sweating, just an hour before he imagined Bad there with him doing things to him that made his heart soar and his body impossibly warm. Skeppy rubs his thumb against his index finger, his stomach churning. 

This definitely wasn’t the amazon guy.

Bad gives him a quick miniscule smile right before going back to his uneasy expression and it sends fireworks through his chest. 

“Skeppy?” he asks, trying to gage his reaction which was totally blank. 

And right before Skeppy could panic and shut the door between them Bad timidly steps into his space. Skeppy’s eyes widen as he realizes Bad was trying to wrap his arms around him. He hesitates when his head goes over his shoulder, but he continues after noting Skeppy hadn’t moved. The moment his weight is pressed into Skeppy’s flesh he cringes. Bad jecks back in shock when he hears Skeppy take in a sharp breath. It was like he was a hurt animal, afraid of contact and timid in the new situation. 

Bad is taken aback, “I- I can go”. 

He looks down to his chest and lets out a shaky breath. 

“Wait no!” Skeppy interrupted, the words coming out subconsciously, “I- I want you toㅡ uh, stay. Please.”

His brain was short circuiting. 

Skeppy tries again, “umㅡ I’m sorry can we just...start over?” 

His eyes lock onto Bad’s beautifully green ones, their vibrancy was beyond anything he had ever imagined. He could almost see a part of his soul in them. He was staring at the most caring man on the planet whose gaze seemed utterly infatuated with his own. A part of Skeppy hopes he wasn’t making that up. 

“I’d like that,” he replies, taking an awkward step back behind the door frame. Skeppy closes the door, letting the click of the lock fill his senses. He could run away right now and never have to confront his feelings. If he left out the back door he’d never be forced to lie to his best friend. 

His thoughts were thwarted by a knock on the door. 

“Hello?” 

His voice sounded so sweet to him, disembodied and yet so human. It felt safe and normal like they were online again, hundreds of miles apart. 

“Hi,” he replied back with a bit more energy. 

“Is anyone home?” Bad replies jokingly and soft, it was his way of asking ‘Can I come in? Are you ok with that?’

It was vulnerable but it was also very endearing. The warmth in his cheeks intensifies and he opens the door again. His eyes met his again, finally with the confidence to smile back. 

“Hey Bad,” he says, chest filled with joyful fear. 

“Hi Geppy,” he replies back bolder in tone. 

Then Bad moves in to hug him. The pressure from his embrace this time relaxed his muscles and melted away his anxiety. His touch told him everything in the world was going to be ok. So Skeppy grips tighter and he lets go of the tension within him with a sigh. 

“I love you,” Bad says.

It was unlike any other ‘I love you’ he’s ever said to him during late nights alone on teamspeak. This wasn’t a goodnight ‘i love you’ it was a ‘I-love-you-and-I-know-you-love-me-too’. It was vastly more sincere and adorably more vulnerable. There was a tone of finality to it, like he had come home to Skeppy. His heart stops again, Bad loves him. He really does. He loves him back. Holy fuck he loves him back.

“I love you too,” a couple tears soak into Bad’s sweatshirt, “I’ve been waiting for you”.


	5. IT’S JUST ANIME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skeppy and Bad redefine who they are to each other and what it means to them.

With so much said and so much unspoken the ease his heart felt was only temporary. The implication of their feelings lashing fear into his once relieved heart. One issue after another he thinks, could he ever win? 

He makes an effort to back away but to his surprise Bad holds him in place. 

The warmth of Bad’s arms around his body made his heart melt and the sturdiness of his shoulder gave him a good place to perch his cheek. As the sound of their inhales became the only sound between them their breathing synchronized. Every point of contact which previously roared to life like flames, now simmered down to a comforting radiation. The ache in Skeppy’s arms receded relaxing for the first time in what feels like forever, and Bad’s heart finally eases to a manageable rhythm. 

Reluctantly Bad backed away from him. Skeppy continued to lean into his warmth, his attachment already becoming very adorably obvious to Bad. Skeppy can see a dark red blush take over his pale face, the rosy color brighter than any other he has ever seen before. 

The moment stretches on, Bad can see Skeppy’s gaze grow empty, like he was trapped in his own head. He rubs his thumb against Skeppy’s wrist tentatively and he sees his consciousness resurface. He was already learning how to read him.

Skeppy smiles contently back, Bad could see the pain he had burdened himself with prior to his arrival in the tired squint of his eyes. Skeppy stared back adoringly at him, and his cheeks began to fight the urge to smile like an idiot.

“Uh,” Bad says, fully separating himself from Skeppy to make his way into the house, “Hi”.

“Hi,” he replies back high pitched and entranced. 

Bad snorts at the sound, now able to watch his lips move as he makes ridiculous noises. Skeppy laughs back, slowly becoming less nervous. He couldn’t figure out what to say next. There was no context to them interacting. 95% of the time they spoke for the purpose of recording a video, managing their channels, or building something on the SMP. There was no reason for them to be talking, therefore neither of them could find it in themselves to start any sort of conversation. They sure as hell didn’t want to be the one to start the ‘so what are we now to each other’ talk, but with every passing second it seemed more like their only option. 

Bad takes a seat on Skeppy’s couch, looking more at the tiles of the floor than the walls or decor. His friend follows him and takes a seat on the far end of the couch, resisting the urge to just straight up sit against him. His gaze lowers to watch his fingers fiddle in his lap, picking at the dead skin by his nails. Silence fills the space between them before Bad decides to start, Skeppy jumps the sound of his voice. 

“So you like me huh?” Bad says almost teasingly. 

Skeppy scoffs at his blatant statement, “that’s one way to put it”. 

His smile sets Bad’s face on fire, it feels more and more like how they used to be. Their wavelengths were converging, attempting to match one anothers’ again. 

Skeppy starts this time, feeling more comfortable, “I really like you”.

“ㅡand I like you too,” he replies without hesitation. 

Skeppy huffs again with a little laugh, “Good”.

This time raising his eyes to meet Bad’s. 

“Good,” Bad repeats as if he were trying to convince himself this is real. 

Skeppy’s insides wanted to explode in joy, he holds in the urge to holler at the top of his lungs and run a fucking marathon. He looked up at Bad and it was enough for them to both explode, their eyes met and they laughed at their unusual state of vulnerability. Bad found Skeppy’s failure to hide his smile behind a sweater paw quite adorable and Skeppy thought that Bad’s increasingly red face was just as funny. 

Skeppy subconsciously scooted off this side of the couch and closer to his best friend. He takes his hand in his and rubs it. They were rough, unlotioned and quite stubbier than his but the bumps of his textured skin made his heart jump. He looks up to match eyes with Bad. They share another smile as Bad moves to lace their fingers together. 

In their now comfortable silence Bad impulsively asks, “Can I kiss you?” 

The question was sudden, but Skeppy laughs at his forwardness. 

“Only if you want to,” he replies, voice soft and expectant. 

It really was happening. His childhood hero, turned best friend, turned crush was right there with him on his living room couch, asking if it was ok to kiss him. 

They both lean in and the contact of their lips sends fireworks through Skeppy’s heart. He moves in to deepen the kiss, to give Bad the love he has been bottling up, but a wretched smell sends him backwards. 

“Oh my god Bad!” he laughs, gagging a bit. 

He looks back at his friend whose face was plastered with horror.

Skeppy giggles, “when was the last time you brushed your teeth?” 

Bad looks utterly mortified and Skeppy loves every second of it. 

“Ok,” he says comfortingly standing up and dragging Bad’s hand in his, “you can use one of mine”. 

His smile killed about half of Bad’s embarrassment, he’s been too busy scared of their meetup to go stop by a Walgreens to pick up some toothpaste he had left home. Skeppy leads him to his bathroom. Bad could see the large amounts of products and jars left with the lids ajar and smiles to himself, of course Skeppy was disorganized.

“Here,” Skeppy says, passing a new unwrapped toothbrush to his friend.

Looking down at the sink he begins to turn on the tap and rinse the brush under the stream of water. Skeppy stood against the doorframe and looked lovingly at him to study his side profile. He wanted to remember every curve of his face. He couldn’t resist it. The bridge of his nose curved mildly from his forehead to before his lip. His glasses have a considerable amount of refraction and Skeppy could tell from his own experience that Bad’s vision was way worse than his. The method in which Bad brushed his teeth differed from his own. Skeppy has always done a back and forth motion and really only brushed his teeth for the purpose of scratching off a bit of plaque and help his breath, Bad really went for it. He was doing the whole circle motion catching the back of his mouth, his incisors, then his front teeth, clearly categorizing each section of his mouth for a thorough cleaning. They've been standing there for about a minute when Skeppy realizes Bad’ one of those people who brush for three minutes like a maniac.

Skeppy creeps up behind him and wraps his arms around Bad. Their eyes meet in the mirror, it's nice, the portrait of them together sears into his memory. This moment was unique, something neither of them could’ve predicted or imagined. It made what they had between them more real, finally tangible. Skeppy nudges his face into his shoulder blade. 

Bad spits into the sink and swishes some water into this mouth before spitting it out. He wasted no time in detaching Skeppy’s arms from his waist and turning to face him. 

“Could we try that again?” he asks, the minty scent bombarding Skeppy’s nose. 

“You can stop asking,” Skeppy responds before tilting Bad’s chin just a bit down for him. 

With the nerves gone they settle into each other's embraces and press their lips together satisfyingly. The imitation minty taste on Bad’s mouth made Skeppy sigh from the familiar scent. They move slowly together drinking in one another. Skeppy’s heart beats in his ears and his mind clouds with a single anticipation: get closer, get more. After all he has been through, he deserved to be a little greedy. 

Skeppy pins him against the sink with a desperate grip on his friend's arms, anchoring himself to this moment. Bad runs his hands up and down his back before settling his right hand on his waist and the other across his back to wrap Skeppy even closer to him. Their shared body heat makes the moment impossibly more passionate. A hand makes its way into Bad’s dirty blonde hair. Skeppy rubs the strands between his fingers, noting the lack of waxy product he thought most guys used. His hair was fine and thin, but thick in abundance. Despite making fun of him numerous times for being older, undeniably Bad was still in the thickets of his youth. They could’ve been the same age, well they practically were, but they were different. Skeppy wasn’t fifteen anymore, and Bad was far from maturity regardless of whatever his driver's license said. Their ages met in the middle now with Skeppy twenty one, and Bad twenty-six. Five years meant a lot all those years ago. Yet their paths had always led here. This wasn’t going to happen anytime earlier, or anytime later, this moment was inevitable. 

When Bad parts them, his heart thumped at the image of the man before him. His eyes were still closed, content and relieved, and his lips were just the slightest bit moist from their kiss. His heart ached for more, to take his mouth in his or litter some kisses on his jaw, but he wanted to also take this slow. They had all the time in the world for once, Bad thought. 

“I wish I came sooner,” he admits, “I would’ve saved you so much pain”.

“It’s ok,” Skeppy said just below his breath, “you came for me, that’s all I ever wanted”. 

He places both of his hands on the sides of Bad’s face, the stubble on his cheeks prickling his palms. He watched as Bad ever so slightly nuzzled into his touch, Skeppy gave him a wide smile. 

“You’re cute,” he says, affectionately as if Bad were a puppy. 

“You’re cute too,” Bad giggles at Skeppy’s tone. 

They look away from each other as they laugh both becoming shy at the other’s adoring gazes. Skeppy is the first to look up again. He lifts his hands up from Bad’s shoulders where they had drifted down earlier to gently remove Bad’s glasses. Folding them up and placing them on the bathroom counter, Skeppy gets another look at his unobstructed face, he wanted to hug him again because he was so pretty. The brightness of his eyes blew him away, the shades of green and specks of blue intensely sends a shiver down his entire body. Embarrassed, he hides his face in the crook of Bad’s neck where he felt a hand snake into his own hair, massaging his scalp comfortingly. What did he do to deserve this? 

They stand there for a minute or two, just holding one another before Bad feels Skeppy’s head shift closer to him. There's a familiar nuzzle before Bad feels Skeppy’s lips brush against his neck just before placing a kiss below his jaw. Skeppy grows more daring the second time laying a couple open mouthed kisses around the side of his neck. The shaven stubble that scratched his neck caused him to moan from surprise. 

Skeppy laughs against his skin, sending confused pleasure from his neck across his skin. 

“Did you just?” he asks laughing hysterically. 

‘Whaㅡ Iㅡ no! Skeppy stop that!” 

Skeppy goes in and rubs his face furiously against Bad’s neck causing him to shiver from contact.

“Skeppy stoppppppp,” he groans trying to suppress another strangled moan. 

When he laughed against his neck the hot breath made it even more challenging to hide his confused moans. 

Skeppy backs away to let Bad catch his breath.

Theres a vibration from bad’s back pocket. Someone was calling him. Skeppy reaches over behind bad and lifts it out of his pocket. The friction from its removal against his skin made Bad’s heart flutter. Skeppy shows him the the caller idㅡ it’s Dream.

Bad was a millisecond away from hanging up the call to go back to daydreaming in Skeppy’s arms but he was too late. With a smirk on his clever face Skeppy selected the green button and held it to his ear. Just below his breath he whispered a hush noise. Clearly he didn’t want Dream to know he was there. Bad blushes, he’s already pushing out of his comfort zone. Previously it was about being himself on the internet, now it was just him being cheeky in real life. 

“Hello?”

“Bad, are you ok?”

“Yeah why wouldn’t I be?”

“Sap, Skeppy, and I have been messaging you all day. Where the hell are you?”

“Oh I’m uhmㅡ”

He looks down at Skeppy again, his gaze egging him on. 

“I’m in Yosemite with my parents, they sprung it on me at the last minute”.

“Bad you’re alone over there, if you don’t take care of yourself, we have no way of helping you”

Bad had never given his friends his roommate’s number in case anything worrying happened, he should probably get on that, “I’m sorry...”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you were going? You know we get worried when you don’t reply to messages, especially Sapnap, he’s been going at it all morning trying to find out where you were”. 

His heart dropped a bit, he did mess up.

“Tell him I’m ok for me please. I might lose signal out here I’m about to go through some dense woods”. 

“Ok Bad, take care for me ok?”

“Of course”. 

And they hang up. Skeppy giggles mischievously. 

“Why’d you make me do that,” Bad asks annoyed.

Skeppy had ruined their moment because of a short phone call with Dream. 

“You should’ve seen your face,” he replies laughing, “you like it when I mess with you”.

Bad made a noise of disapproval, no he did not. 

“Yes you do,” Skeppy responds, knowing what he’s thinking. Bad’s grumpy face looked even for astonishing in person 

Bad scoffs, suddenly scared of Skeppy’s ineptness to his thoughts, “No”.

“You just proved it to me, stop lying,” he says placing his hands in his friend’s hair again, holding his head tenderly for a moment before tousling all his hair into a giant mess. 

“Skeppy!” He turns around and looks into the mirror to brush everything back into place. Skeppy watches from him begin smiling at his actions. 

“I want this to be just us for a while,” he admits. 

“Just between us?” Bad asks, trying to clarify his statement. 

“Yeah, like our own little secret,” he replies back, voice small and precious.

Skeppy smiles as he starts to scheme a couple Vurb and RedVelvet level tweets towards the mister saints of games. He snickers, that would really get his panties in a twist. 

“So nobody can know?” Bad asks playfully. 

He loved the little things they kept just between them. Nobody would understand why they both connected on a certain level considering how different they are in both impulse and creativity, yet they still found themselves laughing amongst themselves whenever they read a poorly written fanfic or poked fun at each other’s little habits. Bad still hears from other SMP streamers on private vc’s their first impressions of him and Skeppy. 

“You know sometimes you two just need a room,” joked George, referring to the many instances where they’ve interacted in a large group call, “you are either the only two in a conversation because you are the only ones who understand what the other is saying, or you two are the only ones not talking because you’re having your own separate silent conversation”. 

Of course Bad denied it, but it was true to a certain extent, ok to every extent. 

“We can tell them soon, I promise, it's just,” Skeppy takes his hand into a soft grip, “lets have some fun together for a bit. Just us.” 

He grins into his friend’s eyes, “I want to take our time too”. 

Skeppy nods at him before leaning his forehead against Bad’s just before pressing a chaste kiss on his top lip, his heart flutters again for the millionth time that afternoon.

Their friends would understand, this was earth shattering news. They needed time to figure themselves out. Perhaps what they were to each other, who they would eventually tell, and if what they have could go anywhere. That last point haunted him but he couldn’t let it get in the way of their moment. This was theirs, and no one else’s. 

Skeppy had envisioned them living together before, but it never seemed more than wishful thinking considering the man never wanted to meet up. He remembers when Bad and him were having one of their late night calls where they'd talk until they fell asleep on telegram. They made made-up plans for when they met up. Like going to the grocery store and buying some potatoes for twitter memes or remaking the awful ‘Cooking with BadBoyHalo’ video on Bad’s channel. 

“I’m sorry about the toothpaste thing,” Bad admits, Skeppy had long forgotten, but it seems like Bad had it on his mind. What a self conscious muffin-head. 

“Well if you came straight here that would’ve never happened. I bet at home you forget to buy the toothpaste all the time”. 

Bad looks offended, “You aren’t allowed to assume that”.

“I think I can,” he teases back. Skeppy giggles into his chest. 

Their legs start to get tired from standing in the bathroom for the last twenty minutes. Bad parts them and leads Skeppy to the living room. Uncertain of what to do next Bad pauses before the couch. Skeppy notices his hesitation and moves to lay down fully on the brown cushions, Bad follows. They are close enough to feel each other’s breath and look into the other eyes, but not close enough to touch or hug. Their feet were the only thing that eventually tangled together. Skeppy’s black socks would rub comfortingly into Bad’s dark blue ones, every now and then trying to tickle that spot on the bridge of Bad’s foot. 

When they spoke again they spent the next hour arguing over who would take on which chores based on their specific ‘skill sets’. In Bad’s case ‘being a control freak’ and in Skeppy’s case ‘being useless for anything other than dishes’. They playfully hit one another, taking a little joy from the sheer fact they were close enough to even share the same air or touch the other’s arms. 

Somewhere in their argument their lips had touched and melded together. Skeppy took the opportunity to learn more about Bad. He started to notice how placing a hand on his neck made him gasp and breath just slightly heavier. Rubbing fingers in his scalp would coax a little moan from him. His grip on Skeppy’s waist was intoxicating and wonderful. He’s noticeably a little more eager than Bad. Skeppy started grazing his teeth against Bad’s bottom lip and right before Bad went in again to angle his chin closer into his friend’s, Skeppy tilts his head back just a little. Bad notices the missing touch and opens his eyes. Skeppy’s heart jumps when he sees the annoyed scrunch in his face. To his surprise, Bad grumbles and flips himself on top of him, caging Skeppy between his body and the couch. The blush that had spread around his face ignited something in Bad and he leaned down again to kiss him again, this time with full control. 

It's like his entire body went limp from oversenory. All he could think, all he could feel was Bad’s body against his. He wanted to stay like this forever with nothing but that weight of his body above his grounding him into the moment with every movement reminding him how much he means to him. 

When they run out of breath they stay that way for a while. Just letting gravity push them together in a peaceful embrace. Skeppy’s mind was buzzing as if he were drunk from his very presence, but a thought of doubt grew like wildfire in his mind. 

“When are you leaving?”

His question surprised Bad, his question stirred him as if he were drifting asleep.

“I’m not going anywhere”. 

Skeppy shuffles his arms free from under Bad’s weight and wraps them around his back pinching the fabric between his fingers and gripping onto the fabric of his thick hoodie. 

It's about an hour or two later that Bad wakes up, the warmth of Skeppy below him building up to a hot atmosphere that made both of their mouths dry and uncomfortable. 

A loud grumble from Skeppy’s stomach forces Bad off his friend and make a gesture for him to wake up. 

“Skeppy,” he coos, placing his palm on his forehead, “wake up, I wanna make us something to eat. 

Skeppy grumbles as he rolls out of the couch forced to follow Bad into the kitchenn. He wanted nothing more than to just sit there and feel him again, but no, food came first. Bad asks for a tour of the kitchen, the space being very foreign to him considering every house has a different place for specific tools and bins. After giving him a tour he moves towards the sink to wash his face, hopefully to wake him up enough to cook somewhat competently. 

“Skeppy, “ calls Bad from the fridge. 

“Mmm?” he replies, chewing on a cookie he had left on the table. 

“There’s no food in here” 

Shit. When was the last time he went to go get groceries? He’s been so distracted by his own mind lately that all he has done was make doordash orders. 

“I’ve been busy”

“Too busy to eat?” 

“More like no appetite to”

“Why?”

‘It’s going to sound stupid,” Skeppy looks down to the floor. 

Bad strides towards him capturing him between his body and the counter. His blush reddens from embarrassment. 

“Why would I be?”

Skeppy looks up at him with vulnerable eyes, “Because I thought this would never happen”. 

Bad takes him into his arms and sways them on the spot for a bit, “I’m here now, ok? And I love you”. 

“I know”. 

Eventually they decide on calling in a build your own pizza kit from a local restaurant which took about an hour to arrive. In the meantime Skeppy turned to Bad’s face to occupy the time, kissing him with a sense of ferocity. Bad laughed at his eagerness and kissed him back. By the time the doorbell rang they had already separated and resorted to scrolling through twitter on the carpeted floor together. 

Bad, appalled at Skeppy’s wrinkly lump of pizza dough, teaches him how to properly roll and toss the stretchy circle. When Skeppy tries to stretch it in the air he tosses it and it lands on the floured countertop with a moist slap sending flour flying everywhere, By the time Skeppy stops laughing he notices that the mess has managed to concentrate itself on Bad’s sweatshirt. 

“Just take it off, I’ll wash it for you”. 

Bad blushes. 

“Oh my god,” Skeppy teases, “are you one of those weirdos who don’t wear a shirt under your hoodie?” 

Skeppy sneaks a hand up the hem of the shirt and was met to warm, smooth skin, he laughs at his friend. 

“Come one take it off, it’s fine we’re boys guys,’ he continues to tease. 

“That’s not true,” he replies offended, “ that's not how it works” and he folds his hands around his chest. 

Skeppy noticed his friend didn’t shrug off his hand yet. He snakes it up his back and out from under the fabric in a quick motion. Bad grumbles. giggling , Skeppy walks away into his room and picks out a shirt for bad, they seemed about the same size anyways before he turns to see a sweater at the top of his laundry basket. It was a blue skeppy hoodie. And fuck the idea of seeing Bad in person wearing it sounded really amusing. 

When he returned to the kitchen Bad scoffed at the choice of shirt Skeppy had brought him. 

“Seriously?” he half laughs. 

“Yes seriously,” Skeppy giggles back, handing him the clothing. 

“I guess it better than nothing,” Bad chuckles as he looks at the fabric again shaking his head, ”oh my goodness”. 

He smiles as he watches Bad take off his hoodie, his skin is clear, quite unusually devoid of any spots or frecklesㅡ probably from the lack of sun exposureㅡ and was flawlessly pale and scarless...as weird as that sounds. There is a line which marks a slight neckline tan and Skeppy feels the urge to run his finger along it before shaking that thought off out of embarrassment. 

Their dinner is enjoyable with the addition of them fighting over what godforsaken music they wanted alexa to play. 

It was only 10:46 pm and according to their imbalanced sleep schedules, they had an extra four hours to kill before needing to sleep. Bad clicks the remote around until he opens netflix. An alarm goes off in Skeppy’s head and rushes to snatch the remote from Bad. 

“Whoa! Skeppy!”

“Give it to me!” he cries. 

Bad lets go of the remote and the plastic device clatters onto the ground where Skeppy hastily picked it up. Fidgeting with the buttons as fast as he could he logged out of his Netflix account. 

Cracking up at the seams Bad’s laughter exploded, “What’re you hiding from me Skeppy?” 

“Nothing!” he blushes like a fucking mess. 

“Oh my goodness,” he smiles as he shakes his head, now amusedly expecting him to have a really startling inappropriate viewing history. 

Bad logs into his personal account and starts scrolling through the titles. Skeppy’s eyes go wide at the selection of lewd titles appearing. 

“What has gotten into you?” says Bad now shocked at Skeppy’s hysterical laughter. 

“What the fuck am I looking at Bad!” he keens over his side and lays on the carpeted ground finding it very difficult to breathe.

“IT’S JUST ANIME, WHAT’S YOUR ISSUE!?” screams Bad dramatically. 

Skeppy’s stomach turns itself out as it squeezes from over exertion, “it’s so fucking weird looking,” he forces out, oh fuck now he’s crying!

Bad grumbles as he keeps scrolling down. 

He eventually chooses an anime and Skeppy is not only impressed with his choice, but also incredibly confused as to why some entertainment studio wasted money on producing such a bad show. They have a lot of laughs at the blatant and unnecessary and uncomfortable incorporation of nudity and sensualisation. It’s definietley a purposefully gross show, and Skeppy was never one for anime, but he surely was here for the stupid imagery and that smile on Bad’s face when something utterly ludricris happened. 

When the three hour mark hit and their stomachs were aching from laughing, there’s an unspoken agreement to go to sleep early that night together. The walk there to his room is easy and natural until he turns on his bedroom lights to suddenly realize his sheets were still missing. Fuck.

Bad takes note of Skeppy’s behavior as he turns to leave, the change was obvious considering he was supposed to still be relaxed after the last few hours of mindless laughter, yet he so easily clamped up the moment they reached his room. He has two kinds of silence: shy and embarrassed, or lonely and depressed. If he had to take a guess, it was probably the first considering his room was in shambles, and he probably wanted to make a better impression of his living habits. 

He figured that initial discomfort would fade away, but by the time they finished making the bed together, Skeppy’s silence never faltered. He turned his back to Bad as he undressed for bed, Bad did the same, neither quite looking at the other until after getting under the covers. In an attempt to lessen the tension Bad pulls Skeppy close to him, the skin of their chest to back squishing a little awkwardly before finally settling in a comfortable position. Skeppy’s face was still blushing. 

“Hey it’s alright. What’s up?” Bad says carefully as he rubs a thumb in little circles. 

Skeppy’s now facing away from him made it difficult for Bad to gage his reaction other than a few tiny chortles of embarrassed laughter. 

“Skeeeeeeppyyyy,” whined Bad, “tell me what’s going oooooooonnnnnn”. 

Skeppy laughs in response, now letting the tension in his muscles loosen a bit, “nope!”. 

He was hell bent on bringing the fact he jerked off to his best friend on those sheets to his fucking grave. Anything to let that memory burn in hell. Skeppy plans to go get a new set from Target or something whenever he gets the chance because there's no way he’s letting sheets of blue cotton fabric ruin whatever he had going on with his best friend. 

His focus is brought back to reality when a soft hand wraps around the back of his own, lacing their fingers together. It was a natural and welcoming gesture, and it brought Skeppy so much joy it was kind of embarrassing. His hands are rough where Skeppy’s is soft. Like the man never lotioned his fingers in his life. It felt as if he was willing to do anything to make others feel good at the expense of his own. He remembers that that was a common theme in their friendship, and he was determined to make it end. 

It’s weird to think that he could be any closer to him than he already was. Like emotionally Bad knew him inside and out. Just through video calls sometimes he could just pretend like he was here because he had never felt what it was like to be in the same room. His voice could echo off walls, get further away, or get closer. He had never considered what Bad’s breath could do to him, or that it would be as profound as it was in that moment where the gentle breeze told him he was there, and everything was different. He had never known what he was missing out on until now and he sure as hell wanted to savor it while it lasted.


End file.
